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Can A Marriage Be Rebuilt After Infidelity?

Have you ever felt mind-numbing pain, the kind that makes you question things you used to be sure of and leaves you trying to stem the bleeding? Questions like these start to arise after infidelity, was what we shared never enough? Why did they do it? Where did we go wrong in our marriage? How can someone you trusted so fully betray you to this extent?  

In these situations, everything takes a hit, from your self-esteem to the love you and your partner once shared. You feel that your partner has failed you in all sense of the word. Infidelity undermines the very foundation of your marriage.

No one has a correct pre-set answer on whether they will stay with a spouse who has cheated on them or not. They may not know how they will feel and respond until the affair reveals itself. In a few instances, you may catch your spouse in the act. In others, they may open up to you about it afterward.

In the aftermath of the infidelity, do you walk away from the marriage you have committed your soul, time, and effort to, or do you take active steps to rebuild your home?

Can a marriage really be rebuilt after infidelity? It is a difficult question to grapple with but it is one that you must certainly answer to move on and live a fulfilling life.

You must ensure to communicate and work with a counselor like Marriage Counselor for optimal results. Working with a professional like couples counseling can lead to a neutral ground fostering clear communication and finding the right ground to move on.

What is the Possibility of Saving the Marriage?

What ends a marriage isn’t infidelity; rather, it is how the affair is dealt with in that relationship. Responses to the circumstances and actions surrounding the infidelity are the ultimate measure of whether the marriage can be saved or not. Indeed, the possibility of saving the marriage is based on so many factors that makes giving a random percentage quite impossible.

1) Do both parties seek to make the marriage work? It takes two to make it work! Rebuilding the marriage will take so much time, effort, and commitment. Alongside courage, strength and a whole lot of dialogue, and soul searching. The willingness and interest of both partners will increase the possibility of saving the marriage.

2) Assessing the Marriage and the Underlying Issues: Remember just a year, or ten years ago, when you were at your happiest, the thought of that person brought you so much joy. What changed? An honest-to-goodness deep look at your life, your spouse, and where you ultimately want to be. You cannot fix what you do not know. This brings you back to the drawing board. 

3)The robustness in the foundation of your marriage: Can you remember why you married the individual in the first place? Can you still see that same person right now? Chances are if you built your marriage on a sound foundation, your marriage is worth saving, and the possibility of it surviving is high.

4) Limitations on Love: Love is more potent than you think or know. For some, infidelity becomes a breaking point that they don’t think the prior view or emotion can exist after such a betrayal. To this class, infidelity is an action that belongs to the category of ‘unforgivable’. The only limit placed on love is self-bound and the heart is such a resilient organ that it is possible to heal, thrive, and reconnect the mind and soul even after such a ‘traumatic’ event. If you define love as impossible or reliant on your partner’s fidelity then the possibility of saving the marriage is close to zero. If the opposite is the case, then the option of saving the marriage remains open.

5) Dealing with the giant issue that led here in the first place: The data shows that cheating partners, especially those who have an affair, do it from the point of unhappiness, sexual abuse, and other related problems. Revaluating does not solve the problem unless they are dealt with thoroughly and in an accountable manner to each partner. This is one of the ties that help to foster new trust. 

So, the answer is yes! It is possible to save your marriage if you are willing to do the work necessary to heal and redesign the relationship. It is also possible to thrive beyond the affair.

Will there Always be Feelings of Resentment? 

The resentment that comes after infidelity is not just toward your partner. It is also towards yourself. Many victims of infidelity struggle and resent themselves as they feel less than. The feeling of resentment will linger for a while. It will take hard work and perhaps therapy to get back to a place where the feeling does not feel all-consuming. 

It takes a very long time, and experts say maybe even 2-5 years, to begin to feel finally free. But yes, healing is possible. Even that deep-seated resentment can dissipate. You can rebuild on honesty, transparency, and mutual respect.

Is it possible to be happily married again after infidelity is exposed?

Yes, it is possible to be happily married again after infidelity is exposed. Your marriage can get back to a place of profound strength, your secure place, and still feel as rich and happy as it once was, or as you have jointly worked on it to be now.

This is all dependent on your collective responses to the infidelity and how you tackled the circumstances surrounding it. Working through the pain and committing yourselves to both healing and designing a new relationship, you can find the secrets to a stronger, more satisfying marriage. 

To succeed in love, you have to become a person capable of love rather than finding a perfect situation. 

So, can a marriage be rebuilt after infidelity? Yes, vows have been broken. Yes, trust must be earned once again. Yes, it is messy and emotional, and hard. However, it is possible to rebuild after infidelity. Remember, partners who leave are not necessarily more robust than those who stayed. Your relationship, your rules!

Remember that you may need to see a counselor who can help you and your spouse through these issues. It may be difficult to bring in yet another third party into your relationship but it can help to serve as a foundation and way to move forward.

Contact us today at (360) 915-2497 to see how we can work with you to address this matter.